oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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