I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
