dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
