I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
