No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
