I want to stick my p in your. b.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
