the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
