Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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