I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
