you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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