Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
