Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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