At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
false alarm. still invincible.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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