I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
