Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
