I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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