I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
