Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
