if only i could text you this smell
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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