I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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