alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
