if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
