Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
and she was petting her beer can
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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