i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
