Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
