As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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