What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
