I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Sober January is a disaster.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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