So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I want to fling myself into the sun
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
