also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
