I'm jealous of your bromance
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
