This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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