It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I didn't notice because vodka
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
