Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
