My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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