she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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