part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
