He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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