Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
