chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
