I'm jealous of your bromance
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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