i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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