If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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