I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
