I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The air was thick with penises
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
