idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
