'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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