I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
