I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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