god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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