question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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